Is Your Life Like Mine?

8:oo AM Sunday morning: My hair is in a messy top-knot that I slept in the night before, wearing a slip and considering this 'half-way ready,' feeding four demanding kids ages 2 to 8, serving food, getting drinks, serving them seconds and then going from cild-to-child trying to brush their hair while they eat (which isn't fun for the brusher or the brush-ee).  Sacrament starts in 1 hour and I think, once again, we are going to be late.  I'm stressed, short on patience and feel like a jerk.  My husband?  He's in the bathroom, taking twice as long to get ready than me.  Probably sounds like a typical LDS family with lots of little kids, except for one thing.  These aren't my kids.  I've been in their lives for a little over a year and I have no idea what I'm doing.  I'm a new-step mom and I'd say I love it 25% of the time, like it 25% of the time, am neutral 25% of the time and struggle with/ hate it the other 25%.

There, I said it.

I have a friend who has been through a lot of the same trials that I have been through, only hers were worse and happened before mine.  I find that when I'm struggling with something, if I talk to her and ask how she handled it and how she feels now, I'm immediately comforted.  I don't know if there are other people in my situation but I have found that when I bluntly discuss (AKA complain) what I'm going through, I feel a mini release of tension and a little better.  There's also something about commiserating with other people, at least for me, where I don't feel so alone and can maybe hear some words of comfort. 

I am attempting to make this blog as anonymous as possible so I can be frank about my struggles without hurting my husband or childrens' feelings.  I must say, with the few LDS step-moms I've talked to, it feels so good to say that one of my step-kids is being a jerk and I struggle to love them, without feeling judged or horrible (even though I AM horrible).  I want to be a good step-mom but right now, I mostly want to survive without scarring any children and keeping my sanity.

#stepmom
#mormonstepmom
#mormonstepparent
#stepkids